Kids Create The Best (Unintentionally) Naughty Misspellings

Kids are eckspurts at unintentional naughtiness 

Ever thought how hard it is for a child to learn English? They’re just learning how to tie their shoes, and now they also need to learn rules of spelling, syntax, pronunciation, and social usage of a global lingua franca with almost 200,000 words? That’s unreal. No wonder making mistakes as children is totally allowable and unavoidable. Plus, children don’t give a rat’s tush what others think.

That means kids mishear the darnedest things and when it comes to English spelling there are a lot of innocently naughty mistakes. These spelling errors deserve golden stars for making us laugh so hard and reminding us that sometimes making mistakes is just plain awesome.

“The biach has lots of sand and water. My mom drinks pink stuff with umbrellas on the biach.” Very interesting insight into this kid's life.

Ms. Karen, be careful lounging on dicks! Now, she’s resting in bed, which means she’s bound to fell bedr soon! Much better . . .

 Yes, he is, because he produced YOU! That flesh-colored chef's hat though . . .

No, honey. That’s where you came from. You’re going to Virginia tomorrow.

Risten girl, we feer you. Rs and Ls are hard to differentiate.  

Timmy’s sad because saying goodbye to your old hoes is hard. But, Timmy! There’s a whole new upstairs and downstairs to explore in your new hoes!

As long as your parents give you permission, you can do whatever you like with hores when you’re older. We hear some people like hores-back riding.

<Gasp> Are Buzz Lightyear and Jim Levenstein from American Pie THE SAME PERSON?

You’ll be saying that your whole life! (But, we think this kid was trying to write “shirt.”)

You know, it’s for this very reason that adults take extra precautions enunciating the uts in peanuts. Without that, peanut-sellers at ballparks would get a lot of strange looks. “Penis! Get your salted penis!”

“I wear tits in the winter. I have 4 pairs of tits. Some have stripes and polka dots. The summer is too hot for tits.” 

April Ham’s BFFs: John Afghan Eddy and Martin Lou, The King.

To reiterate, Santa: “There will be milk and cockeys whating for you!” Make sure they’re double-stuffed! 

Wouldn’t it be great if Sophie were actually saying: “Dear Santa, If you know (anything at all), you’d wear my black leggings. Are you? Please write me back. Love, Sophie.”

Is there a Tinder app for ladybugs?

This best furcher elf can do a heck of a lot for Santa, including things we didn’t think were possible, or allowed. Also, FYI: Santa wants his animal fleet to be rainproof, and “paniting” is only cool on “pitchers” (but not on “slays”).  

Thanks for the laughs, kids!

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