incongruence

American  

[in-kong-groo-uhns, in-kuhn-groo-, -kuhng-] / ɪnˈkɒŋ gru əns, ˌɪn kənˈgru-, -kəŋ- /

noun

1. the state or condition of not being in agreement, accordance, or harmony, or the degree to which things are in this state.

   The incongruence in cultural values and norms between Americanized adolescents and their more traditional immigrant parents can lead to family conflict and adolescent behavior problems.

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Etymology

Origin of incongruence

First recorded in 1580–90; from Late Latin incongruentia, from Latin incongruent-, stem of incongruēns “inconsistent”; incongruent ( def. )

Explanation

Incongruence is a state of being out of place or incompatible. There would be a certain incongruence to your dad yelling at you and your siblings, "There is absolutely no yelling in this house!" Use the noun incongruence for things or situations that just don't quite fit or make sense, like the incongruence of one person sliding down a hill on a plastic sled surrounded by skiers and snowboarders. You could also note the incongruence of a grand house that looks perfectly maintained on the outside but is decrepit and rotting on the inside. Incongruence is derived from a Latin word that means "inconsistent" or "not coming together."

Example Sentences

"There was recognition that there is a very small subgroup of children whose gender incongruence persists long-term and who may require ongoing support and possible medical interventions," the review said.

From BBC • Feb. 10, 2026

Goldman bankers complained to senior management, pointing out the seeming incongruence of the revelations and Ruemmler’s role on the firm’s reputational risk committee, which is charged with deciding which clients the bank shouldn’t work with.

From The Wall Street Journal • Jan. 20, 2026

Living with the fear and other feelings that came with her sense of gender incongruence, Borrowman said, put strain on her relationships.

From Washington Times • May 28, 2022

Only once children are older, and if the incongruence between the sex assigned to them at birth and their experienced gender has persisted, does discussion of medical transition occur.

From Scientific American • May 12, 2022

No one ever seemed to bother about the incongruence of the eyes, which were invariably focused at the camera lens.

From The Place of Honeymoons by Keller, Arthur Ignatius