incongruence

American  

[in-kong-groo-uhns, in-kuhn-groo-, -kuhng-] / ɪnˈkɒŋ gru əns, ˌɪn kənˈgru-, -kəŋ- /

noun

1. the state or condition of not being in agreement, accordance, or harmony, or the degree to which things are in this state.

   The incongruence in cultural values and norms between Americanized adolescents and their more traditional immigrant parents can lead to family conflict and adolescent behavior problems.

---

Etymology

Origin of incongruence

First recorded in 1580–90; from Late Latin incongruentia, from Latin incongruent-, stem of incongruēns “inconsistent”; see incongruent ( def. )

Explanation

Incongruence is a state of being out of place or incompatible. There would be a certain incongruence to your dad yelling at you and your siblings, "There is absolutely no yelling in this house!" Use the noun incongruence for things or situations that just don't quite fit or make sense, like the incongruence of one person sliding down a hill on a plastic sled surrounded by skiers and snowboarders. You could also note the incongruence of a grand house that looks perfectly maintained on the outside but is decrepit and rotting on the inside. Incongruence is derived from a Latin word that means "inconsistent" or "not coming together."

Example Sentences

Goldman bankers complained to senior management, pointing out the seeming incongruence of the revelations and Ruemmler’s role on the firm’s reputational risk committee, which is charged with deciding which clients the bank shouldn’t work with.

From The Wall Street Journal • Jan. 20, 2026

Gids, based at London's Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust, is the only NHS clinic for children with gender incongruence and gender dysphoria in England and Wales.

From BBC • May 11, 2023

Living with the fear and other feelings that came with her sense of gender incongruence, Borrowman said, put strain on her relationships.

From Washington Times • May 28, 2022

Only once children are older, and if the incongruence between the sex assigned to them at birth and their experienced gender has persisted, does discussion of medical transition occur.

From Scientific American • May 12, 2022

The place of reflective reasoning process which characterises the logical judgment is filled by a peculiar thrill which accompanies a feeling of congruence or incongruence, according as the ideal is satisfied or otherwise.

From Nature Mysticism by Mercer, John Edward