blumpkin

or blumkin or blumpy or clumpkin

[bluhmp-kin] or [bluhmp-ee]

What does blumpkin mean?

You might want to sit down for this one. Preferably not on the toilet.

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A blumpkin is a supposed sex act where a man receives fellatio while he’s on the toilet defecating. While we’re sure someone somewhere has tried it, we sleep better at night thinking of it simply as an urban legend.

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Examples of blumpkin

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Examples of blumpkin
Today was the day Trump gave Putin a blumpkin
@4rest4trees, July, 2018
I'm sorry/not sorry to report that I once again declare blumkins to be bullshit—stupidly sexist bullshit...
Dan Savage, The Stranger, February, 2016
Is urban dictionary set up like Wikipedia where anyone can edit the definitions? Or does someone actually get paid to put the definition of “Blumpkin” on the internet?
@NickConti23, July, 2018  

Where does blumpkin come from?

It seems sometimes the internet only exists for two things: porn and made-up pornographic terms. Enter the blumpkin.

We can find blumpkin on a Usenet group as early as 1993 when user Snarfblat asked the pressing question: “Do you say ‘I got/gave [a] blumpkin’ or ‘we blumpkinned’ or ‘She blumpkinned me’?” Both, Snarfblat. Both.

We suspect—we hope—the word blumpkin was dreamed up by some clever Nintendo player in his basement in the 1980s. The word has a funny bloopy poopy sound and conjures up the plump rump of a pumpkin and bumpkin.

Blumpkin plopped onto the broader scene in 2004 when the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) fined Infinity Broadcasting $27,500 for indecency after shock jock Howard Stern discussed the blumpkin on a 2001 episode of his popular but raunchy radio show.

In May 2018, Jay Kiyonaga, formerly in charge at New York’s Justice Center for the Protection of People with Special Needs, was fired for sexual misconduct that included asking a female staffer if she knew the definition of a blumpkin

Imaginative variations thrive online on sites like Urban Dictionary and Reddit. The reverse blumpkin is said to be when a woman gives oral sex while she’s on the toilet defecating and the clumpkin when woman receives cunnilingus while pooping. And let’s not leave out the country blumpkin, which takes place in an outhouse.

Who uses blumpkin?

Blumpkin jokes have worked their way into plenty of movies and TV shows known for subversive humor, including DodgeBall (2004), Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008), and South Park (2014), Scream Queen (2015), Season 3 of Fargo (2017).

Blumpkin should be avoided in polite conversation, even as an inside joke, because someone will inevitably ask you to explain what it means. Do you really want to explain a blumpkin to grandma?

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