But then someone who met me out front smiles, “Hello again, Bert.”
With the real Bert Rodriguez in view, word seems to be spreading quickly that I am an imposter.
But Sesame Workshop released a statement on Thursday, insisting Ernie and Bert are nothing but puppets.
It sends a counterproductive message, she said, as Bert and Ernie are, in fact, just friends and not a closeted couple.
Bert and Ernie, as Sesame Street exasperatedly clarified, are not gay.
Bert said no more, but shook hands all around, and then prepared to start on.
Even the impassive Bert Rhine could not quite conceal his surprise.
"And a lap robe was taken from our auto about the same time," added Bert.
I think one was HuBert, or RoBert, or something that ended in Bert.
Suddenly, Bert gave a jerk to his line and landed a fair-sized pickerel.