Where does hotwife come from?
The idea of hotwifing comes from the concept of a husband showing off and sharing his “hot wife.” The non-monogamous arrangement is related to a cuckolding fetish, and many (but not all) husbands in such a relationship refer to themselves as cuckolds or hot-wifers.
The difference between hotwifing and cheating is consent: In a hotwife arrangement, the husband is fully aware and supportive of his wife’s affairs. In many cases, one spouse or the other even gains sexual arousal from the arrangement due to voyeurism, the thrill of doing something taboo, or an infidelity and/or jealousy fetish.
Hotwifing isn’t exactly swinging because only one partner is having extramarital sex. One of the most important aspects though is that both partners are open and trusting with each other. It only works if both partners are mutually onboard; the hotwifing arrangement often falls apart when one partner becomes uncomfortable with non-monogamy or when one partner feels pressured against their will to participate.
In some cases, there really aren’t any affairs taking place in hotwifing. For some, it’s mainly a foreplay exercise to talk through a hypothetical fantasy of infidelity.
The term first started showing up online in the mid-1990s, mostly among message boards for swingers and exhibitionists. The term spread in late 1997 in personal ads involving husbands wanting to show off their hot wives before further taking hold online.
Who uses hotwife?
The term is mostly used in the swinger and non-monogamous communities, as well as among hotwife fetishists. It’s popular enough as a fantasy that it also shows up as a tag on various porn websites.
Online, there are also entire forums, websites, and at least one subreddit dedicated to hotwifing, where people come together to share stories and find community around the practice.
Given its explicit nature, hotwife may be considered vulgar or obscene.
So from a realistic practical point of view, a new hotwife first has to meet men socially because Hotwife dating is no different than dating for any non married woman.
Alexis McCall, Medium, August 2016
But hotwifing prioritizes a woman’s sexual freedom as a key component of her partner’s pleasure; her ‘openness’ is an end in itself, not part of a bargain.
Charlotte Shane, Mel Magazine, July 2016
So, I became his hotwife. Technically we weren’t married but he loved the term and used it with great affection. He actively encouraged me to have sexual contact with other men and then goad and humiliate him during sex using the experience.
Candy Snatch, Candy Snatch Reviews, March 2017