8 Absurd Sayings Invented By “Family Guy” Characters


Glenn Quagmire is known for his amped-up libido, so naturally, he’d have a catchphrase that goes along with it. When Quagmire’s in the mood —which is usually all the time —he’s heard using the expression “giggity” to show off his excitement. And, when he sees a woman he’d like to get extra close with? He’s not afraid to go straight for the kill: “giggity giggity giggity, let’s have sex!”


A back scratcher is convenient when you have an itch you can’t scratch, but what do you do when it’s on your rear? Sure, you can use a hand, but Peter Griffin has an even better plan: a buttscratcher. It’s a nifty and hilarious sounding gadget (a stick with a small hand at the end). “Buttscratcher, buttscratcher! Get your buttscratcher here!” We’re not sure if it actually makes scratching that much easier, but at least Peter’s invention makes you giggle when saying it.


When Peter gets offended, he usually doesn’t go down without a fight . . . even if he’s not entirely certain what he’s talking about. Take the word festisio, for example. It’s a made-up term, (Or, insult?), Peter created after he was called a term he wasn’t familiar with: “A degenerate, am I? Well, you are a festisio! See? I can make up words too, sister.”

What the deuce?

Stewie might be a baby, but he seems to know more about language than most adults. He frequently comes up with witty comebacks—and that English accent doesn’t hurt either. One of his favorite expressions is, “What the deuce?” (And of course, deuce means a number two.) It’s a clever and proper way of asking “WTF” in certain scenarios, like when he’s about to get a shot at the doctor’s office or, you know, waking up during a home invasion.

It's gon' rain

Ollie Williams is a delightful weatherman in the Family Guy universe. He’s famous for an incredible catchphrase that’s used during the shortest weather segment ever. Ollie’s staple saying, “it’s gon’ rain!” is shouted aggressively, but he delivers this forecast with such heart and passion that it never gets old.

Cool hwhip

Sure, this term isn’t as ridiculous when used in an average conversation, but when said in Family Guy, it’s rather comical. What’s hilarious is how Stewie says the phrase: He prefers to put way too much emphasis on the letter h in the word whip. The result just sounds funny, even if we’re not totally sure why. Try it!

Damn you vile woman!

Stewie is known for his immense disproval of his mother, Lois. He often muses about his loathing, and at times even lashes out to her face. This phrase is one of his favorites in times of extreme frustration, specifically those when he remembers his extended stay in her “wretched womb.”

Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?

Brian, the family dog, loves a stiff drink at the end of the day (or anytime of day, really). And, when you’re Peter Griffin’s best friend, sometimes you end up in situations in which you could really use a drink. This saying (now character catchphrase) is a hilarious expression of how intense Brian’s love can get. Take it to the bedroom, please!

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Word of the Day

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Word of the day

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