What Do You Call Your Parents?

When you’re born, the first words invariably spoken are mommy or daddy. (In some garbled, gurgled form or another—translation is often required.)

So, let’s explore this commonality that connect us all and learn the different words people have come up with to describe their moms, dads, and grandparents. We might just toss in the random uncle, aunt, and cousin too. Most of these have an unknown origin (except where cited by region.)

Mom

First up, dear old Mom. And, we aren’t listing the old tried-and-true ones either (sorry mommas and mommys).

1. Momster: Like mom and a gangster. Eat all your vegetables, son, or no cannoli for dessert. It’s not personal, it’s business.

2. Mamadukes: The website says “supposedly, this is North American slang for mom because of the character, Marmaduke.” Have you ever heard of this one?

3. Tiger Mom: From Asia, a name used to characterize mothers who ferociously protect their young. Grrrr.

4. Mommellah: This is “from a Yiddish word that means little mother. Originally, it was for little girls who acted like a little mom.” The site says it’s a fun word, and we agree.

5. Mumsy: Definitely British. I say mumsy, may we have a biscuit and some chocolate milk?

6. Momager: Kinda formal. She might want to print this on her business cards. This is the mom that handles their kid’s finances, acting careers, modeling gigs . . . into their 20s and 30s.

7. Mamma Mia: Italian meaning “my mother.” Please use it as an exclamation of surprise, and the ABBA link cannot be dismissed.

8. Momushka: This is derived from putting “mom” together with the Russian word meaning older woman, or babushka.

9. The Mothership:
Conjures up the spaceship in Close Encounters. Awe-inspiring, powerful, majestic. Keeper of your allowance and the car keys for the weekend.

10. Mom Mom: You love her so much, one mom isn’t enough.

11. Mombles: Sounds Australian, though we have no way to prove that. “Hey, Mombles. How about a cold Foster’s, eh?”

12. Finger and Thumb:
We don’t know if she’ll dig this one or not. Everydayknow.com says “this comes from Cockney rhyming slang because ‘mum’ rhymes with ‘thumb.'”

13. Momzilla: This one explains itself. Watch out, Tokyo—you’re on her list.

Dad

1. Wallet: He Who Has All The Money. If you want to go to the movies, you make a beeline for the ATM that’s in the living room reading the paper. You know, like The Beav did with his dad.

2. BFG: This stands for Big Friendly Guy. A little obscure, but that’s the sheer genius of it. It’s an inside thing between you both. “BFG! Ready to go to the baseball game?”

3. Mufasa: Circle of Life and all that. He was the king of the jungle in The Lion King. ‘Nuff said, little Simba.

4. Sarge: Does your dad hold a military rank? Or, does he run the house like a boot camp? Hopefully, he won’t put you on k.p. if you use this one.

6. Teflon Don: Another name with a bada-bing! vibe to it. Nothing sticks to this guy. You love him, and you’ll go to the mattresses for him if needed.

7. Care Bear: Big, cuddly, and colorful. Ah, c’mere, ya big lug.

8. Daddy-o: Retro, as in American Graffiti. (Kids, look it up on Netflix.) Call him this with a Dean Martin tone to your voice.

9. Homer: A tribute to the patriarch of The Simpsons. Mmmm, doughnuts.

10. Popsicle: It just sounds funny.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins

1. Gramps: An abbreviation of grandfather or grandpa. Appropriate to use when he’s on the front porch in the rocker, having a snooze.

2. Geema & Geepa: Maybe a mispronunciation of the general grandma and grandpa, it’s hard to pronounce those r‘s . . . even as you get older.

3. Grammakins: This one uses the English –kins. Seems fitting for your 4-foot, big fluffy sweater wearing, Kleenex stuffed inside her sleeve cuff, grammakins. “Now, come here and give Grammakins a big hug.”

4. G: So clean, so subtle, so hip-hop. “What’s up, G?” This one really depends on how plugged in your grandparent is to youth culture. The variant “G-Money” also works.

5. Unk and Unkie: For uncle, of course. This one is kind of lazy, as if you couldn’t think of anything more clever. Here, have a synonym.

5. Name-name: An easy one. Say your aunt is named Jane. She becomes aunt Jane-Jane. Ah, you think. That’s one syllable. What if she’s named . . . Margaret? Why, aunt Mar-Mar, of course. See, we think these things through.

6. Niblings: These are your nieces and nephews. This is a way to refer to both your nieces and nephews at the same time without exerting the energy of having to say more than one word.

7. Primo: The Galician word for cousin. Who wouldn’t want to be called primo?

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